Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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