He is such a slut. More and more my type.
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Yeah, surprised you made it on time this morning. Remarkable, considering 2 hours ago you were pretending to be talking window curtains.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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