just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
