the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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