You just made me feel so damn special
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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