can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
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