Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Literally, and I mean LITERALLY as in "not to be confused with a casual hyperbole", LITERALLY the day we broke up she slept with 3 different guys that night.
1) It's nice to see that the whole "English Major" thing is upping the quality of your rants 2) Have you considered that your dick was the cork holding her sluttiness in?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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