She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
We need a shit load of segways right now
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Ok, in complete transparency, I am eating a cookie on my bed naked while reading a Halo novel.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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