Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
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