She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Randomize
