Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
My life has become one weird ass game. No one wins. No one loses. We all just kind of hang in limbo and hope we don't die. Eskimo sisters for life. Please have sex with one of them.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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