one might say we're banned from that church
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Randomize
