u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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