high people should be assigned attendants
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
