oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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