My girlfriend figured out who you are.
My cat gives me a boner
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
you pissed in a zip-loc bag and wanted 60 dollars for it
The beer is more important than you right now.
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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