I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
