I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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