Dual....:-)
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
Your shirt... Was in my pants
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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