Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
where are my eyebrows?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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