I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
