I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
