Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
