I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
