The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
