dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
