Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
Randomize
