Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
