Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
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