if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Randomize
