dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
