its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
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