can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
