I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Randomize
