TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
