and this is why I hate my dad. He got 25x more angry with me when I wanted to drive a different route then he suggested to get to his house (more scenic- thus more enjoyable) then he did when I told him I was driving drunk with 4 people in the car and I got my 5th speeding ticket last night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
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