the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
you would pick up someone in the library
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
