I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
