Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
I just masturbated at work. Does that make me a prostitute since i just technically got paid to have sex?
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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