This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
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