don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Randomize
