Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
