Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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