Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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