Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
