i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
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