I can't watch pbs sober anymore
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
