So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
