Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
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