it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
Randomize
